And in these families, the parents put their relationship before the kids.
Another’s girlfriend eventually broke up with him after several years because he rarely made time to spend alone with her, instead expecting constant family time with his son.
Read that again, you probably don’t hear it often enough. All marriages have their ups and down, but if one or both spouses have ADHD, the relationship is significantly more challenging.
The statistics are scary and at times you might not believe it’s possible to make a marriage work with ADHD in the mix. Two people, two lives entwined, every day, under one roof…and ADHD.
The good news is that you are always an active participant in your marriage. Judgmental, critical thoughts distance you from peace and love.
You can choose your role, how you communicate, and the behaviors that can either strengthen or weaken your bond. Every trait has a positive and negative side to it. Sometimes you have to look hard to find it, but if you value your relationship it’s worth the effort.
But it’s not cool to pay lip service to intentions of growing a serious, long-term relationship and from the onset demote your lover to second-rank — even before you message her on
A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. After all, they can be so demanding — not to mention fulfilling.
When it comes to relationships, I’m fond of saying, But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I’d like one day. They are the dynamic centriforce around which the family’s life orbits. There is lots of research to suggest that a happy marriage is the cornerstone of well-adjusted kids. D., writes in her relationship guide, The Book of Love: “No matter how sacrilegious it sounds, you need to put your relationship before your children. If you’re not in a committed relationship, it is very easy to make your kids the prominent one in your life.
You’re late for appointments, if you even remember that you have them. You say things without thinking or tune out during important conversations. And still, adults with ADHD are completely capable of happy, fulfilling marriages.
It’s complex, it’s hard, it’s beautiful, it’s not impossible. The entwined threads can either be sturdy or frayed.